Megan Lebo

I being one reserved in the offering of my affections can only envy those who so freely give. I have nurtured jealousy all my life, wanting that which has not yet been given, with hopes that my hurt feelings and perseverance would eventually be rewarded.

The desire for that which is not mine, like the waves on a shore, rise up and consume my heart and mind, drowning that which was righteous and pure. Then as swiftly as it came in it recedes and I am once again at peace. It’s a constant fight between good and evil that takes a toll on my mind and leaves me feeling used.

Out of pain flow pleasant songs

Redeeming that which once was gone

Far be it for me to say

I would have chosen another way

For out of pain the saints do cry

It wasn’t pain for which we died

But better that the source would be

A life which once walked blamelessly

Penance once I held as mine

Now ransomed penance considered Thine

MML

(Dated May 17, 2007)

I read an article this morning in the newspaper about Joel Osteen. The heading stated “Mega-pastors expected to attract thousands”. As I read the article I found myself shaking my head at his statements, “I feel like my core message is to encourage people to give them hope and help them live their everyday life.” In this article Osteen readily acknowledges that his sermons are light on theology and Biblical references. He states When I started 8 years ago, I felt like I had to cite 15 scriptures, but then I felt my gift is to help people with everyday lives.”

Later on this afternoon I read an artricle online about the whole Bible vs. science issue. In this particular article the author clearly makes a mockery of creationists portraying them as ignorant and foolish. Why is this? Because so many Christians make claims based on the Bible that they really have no knowledge of. Making blanket statements such as, “I believe because I have faith”, “Or I believe because it is what the Bible says”. Now I’m not saying that we should not have faith or that we should not believe things simply because scripture says but to the world those statements have no credibility. A statement this author made in the article says, “How ironic, then, that by dabbling in science to promote their beliefs, anti-science creationists are more likely eroding the very credibility they aim to bolster.” He is basically telling Christians that they are picking the wrong fight

As I read the second article I began thinking and comparing the two. According to Joel Osteen we need not get bogged down with the intellectual aspect of God and Scripture. That only turns people away. We need to just love on them. Yet on the other hand we have people mocking the Christian faith because of the lack of intellectual foundation.

The American church as a whole has dumbed herself down to being spiritually ignorant. We have become comfortable and happy with where we are and have no desire to explore the depths of who God is! Why SHOULDNT we challenge ourselves to the intellectually stimulating aspects of God. So many Christians today have traded sound doctrine and Biblical theology for a “feel-good” gospel. We are no longer capable of defending our faith because we don’t really know what we believe!

When one decides to obtain a degree in the area of their choice they learn every aspect of their trade. You wouldnt want a doctor operating on you that hasnt spent the last 8+ years of his life learning what he is passionate about. How much more then should we invest in the one thing that matters into eternity? KNOW YOUR GOD!!! Invest yourself in who He is, His attributes, His plan! What will God say to us when we stand before God with nothing to offer Him but good feelings?

O Church! Stay away from this “do nothing, feel good” gospel. Study, Learn. Devote your time to knowing God so when the world challenges you , you will be able to stand firm and not waver. KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!!

(Dated January 30, 2007)

“For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate…For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the goood is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”

How desperately my heart cries this verse. The torture of living in such flesh when the only thing my heart desires is holiness. Clinging to pride when asked for humility, brooding with anger when needing to show grace. How often I raise myself up to think I am deserving only to fall breaking everything on the way down! How painful it is to be broken! Yet it is in my brokenness that I see how desperate my situation is. It is only when I am stripped of my pride and the walls of anger and resentment have been removed that I can see that I deserve nothing. Not only do I deserve nothing but there is nothing I can ever give to my Savior and my God, the Creator of the Universe who holds everything in place, and nothing I could ever do to bring to Him the glory and honor and adoration that He deserves. It is a shame to me that I ever thought I deserved anything.

May we always strive after the ways and the paths that God has laid out (though not necessarily made known) not the ones we have laid for ourselves!

So this whole blogging world is really new to me and I’m still trying to get used to it but I realized as I was reading someone else’s blog that I can talk about whatever I want!  Although I have to admit that I’m not the type that likes to write about pointless things or give an account of what I did today.  I guess the thought that sits in the back of my mind is that I’m gonna write all this stuff and yet nobody will read it.  Who am I writing to really?   So with that,  I  encourage you that are  reading this to comment and give me some feedback otherwise I feel like I’m just writing to myself.

I have tried this blogging thing before and have never been able to keep up with it. The problem is that I always feel that I have so much to say! So here I am with another attempt. I really want my purpose in writing to be to share with others the experiences of my life as I look through the eyes of a Christian worldview. Every day I am learning what it means to be a child of the Creator of the Universe, the God of all that exists. I am very excited to share with everyone the things that he intends to show me and to teach me!